Author Archives: Wendy Lee

When the going gets tough….even the tough want to say screw it.

pebble photoWhen the going gets tough....even the tough want to say screw it.

When the going gets tough….even the tough want to say screw it. And get pissy. And complain. And yell. And cry. And then realize we are not doing anybody any good. Not ourselves or those around us.

I know heartache. I know being completely broken and not even remembering how to tie a shoe. I am not there like that now, thankfully. However, sometimes life comes at you in so many directions you feel overwhelmed, and it’s hard to even breathe. “Leave me the hell alone” is what you want to say to some. And “Come here and show me you freaking care” is what you want to say to others. Stumbling over the pebbles, so to say.

As I was sitting in my own little pity party funk tonight, the three under my roof all came to me separately and showed me in their own way to snap out of it. Through drawings, bath time play and through mere comic relief. I’m thankful I have them and thankful I have those in my life reminding me to appreciate these times.

When the going gets tough…Here I go. I’ve got a mountain to climb. Thanks to those that help me pass all the pebbles.

“What’s your High?”

That sounds kinda weird, huh?  Your High?

Well, that’s what we (my family) hear when we are all situated as a group around the dinner table.  It doesn’t happen as often as I’d like…which would be 7 days a week…but it’s definitely better than a 50% ratio.  “What’s Your High?”…and “What’s Your Low?” is a game we play around my dinner table as long as I can remember. We go around the table and everyone has to say what their highest and lowest points of their day were.   I don’t recall when it started (at some time when Jamie, now 21 years old, was little) or where it came from, but it almost always is the “High” of MY day.  (…ask the kids…they recite in unison when I am asked what my High is…mocking me…”Dinner together with you guys“…while kind of rolling their eyes!)

This game is never done quickly.  It always dovetails into another shared story of the day or a memory of days gone by.  The usual answers pop up on a consistent basis… High? Recess/lunch.  Low?  Getting up early for school/chores.  But every now and then, an unusual topic comes up.  About a peer, a family member, a feeling…good and/or bad.  

It’s these quiet (and not so quiet) times that life is happening.  Choices are being made that need guidance. Choices are being made that need applauding…or re-direction.  Thoughts and feelings are coming out naturally and unexpected.  

Please…all that read…NEVER underestimate the power of dinnertime conversation!!   

My “High” today? Pizza-movie night with the kids.  Jamie snapchatting  me good news (that could’ve been really bad news!).  Emily offering to bring me lunch.  DJ grabbing his sister a glass of water because she was coughing…without me asking him to.  Kenzie playing with my hair and being my only movie bud!  Bray for snuggling in with me at the end of the movie. Being able to get a run in. Chatting with my sis about fitness.  Getting a compliment from a good friend that they think Wendy = grace under pressure.  

My Lows?  Who the F*&% cares!

 

So, “What’s your High?”

“How do you have time to do everything?”

“I don’t”.

I just had a long blog typed and edited and re-edited it. I just erased it all. It’s as simple as this…

I don’t have time to do everything…but when I go to bed what sits heaviest with me is “are my kids happy? Did I do what I needed to for them? Did I do a little more than that for them?”

I wonder if they see me as a failure or a Mom they are proud of. The rest of my family, my friends, my boss, my co-workers…I worry about pleasing them, too. But at the end of the day…My kids are what rank on my “pleasing” meter. And when I say pleasing, I mean bring them joy in some manner. That comes in many different forms.

As I was putting the finishing touches on my silly, food-colored shamrock on shepherd’s pie for dinner tomorrow night, I was wondering why I do that. I guess it’s my little way of saying “I love you guys” and that they are worth putting a little extra effort into to seeing a smile on their (rolling their eyes) faces.

I don’t have time for everything…but there are some special people in my life worth going the extra mile for.

Signed,
The Mom with laundry to do, dishes in the sink, trash that wasn’t taken to the curb last Thursday…shall I go on?

Weeknight Quick and Easy Chicken Caprese

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I am just too tired at this point to do a detailed recipe…however, this was just too delicious not to share!

This is just boneless skinless chicken breast, filleted,  pounded down to 1/4-1/2″ thickness.  Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to season and throw on a preheated grill on Medium for about 5 minutes per side until no longer pink.

Top the cooked chicken with slices of plum tomato and fresh mozzarella and put under a broiler for a few minutes until cheese starts to melt.  Garnish with a drizzle of good quality balsamic and a dab of olive oil…and freshly diced basil. Serve with roasted asparagus…my favorite!!

I could eat this meal over and over!!!

 

 

 

To Blog or not to Blog….

I have received so much response from this blog (and even just about my random Facebook postings).  Whether it’s a friend questioning if I share too much – or to the other extreme where another friend is praising me on my courage to bare my soul to print.  It has had me pondering my desire to blog, what motivates me and why it feels good to do so.  

What I come back to is a conversation I had with the priest I grew up with.  One who I saw regularly, even though I wasn’t attending church…or even remotely a practicing Catholic…or ever even opening up a Bible.  See, I did administrative work for him.  Organized the collections from the weekly services and got them ready for deposit.  Wrote out Christmas cards.  Various things that as time went on were difficult for him to do. My sisters actually started doing this when they were teens and as they grew up and moved on it naturally fell to me. It just kind of stayed with the family.  My close friends and family knew I was unavailable for a block of a few hours each week as I was “counting money”.  It wasn’t a typical relationship one would expect with a priest.  I don’t recall, even once, us having a conversation about scripture.  It was all bout life…and death…and  more life.  He would discuss people I grew up with that were getting married, had died, or were in the police log for various crimes. About human nature and why people are the way they are.  About accepting all people for who they were…everyone has worth.  About relationships.  We talked a lot about that.  Even though they weren’t long conversations…they were frequent.  He would always leave me with a thought and walk out of the room…leaving it to resonate.  

“God didn’t create us to walk the earth alone.  We are meant to share our life with another person.”

He said that to me many times.  At that moment it made me feel for him.  He lived a very simple life.  He, himself, lived alone…obviously, as a priest.  He lived a simple and noble life.  He lived far below his means and gave whenever he could.  I loved how he gave, too.  People would forever be ringing his bell at the house while I was there.  Asking for help.  I would hear the stories and the woes.  I heard how he empathized with them.  He would give them help…and they earned it.  “Here’s $20, there’s a rake over there and the lawn needs a cleaning”.  It was never a “hand out”.  He was an amazing man and his death a few years ago only falls second to Michael’s as the person who I lost that so deeply impacted me.  The things that comfort me are the fact that I now know God, I have opened the Bible and I know that his person he shared his life with was God. That’s who he walked the earth with.  That’s who he died with, even if not being surrounded by loving family and friends the way I think it should have been.  But in saying those previous words to me…he was talking not about himself.  He was saying that for me.  Encouraging me not to lose faith and to know it was okay to press forward and to find someone new.  Someone to share my life with.

That’s where my blog comes into play.  This is my place to share.  If you go through life without that person to share it with…it just doesn’t have the same joy.  Whether it falls on deaf ears or I see that hundreds of people have read a post, it is still the same feeling when I hit “publish”.  My experience, thought or even just a recipe…has been shared.  Of course, I prefer if SOMEONE reads it and I like feedback…but the sharing is what it’s about for me.  For now, this is who I am sharing life with.  I am not walking this earth alone. 

Thank you Father Thomas B. Morgan. I’ll blog on…. 

“Excuse me, but do you know who my husband is?!”

Mildly embarrassed, I call down to the hotel desk operator.  I have sweat on my brow due to running from one bathroom to the next, each on separate floors (while cursing under my breath).  All I want to do is get in the shower so we can check out and start our day of fun around the resort.

“Hello?”

“Hi there, this is an odd question…but how the hell do you turn on the shower??!!  I just can’t figure it out!!”

“Mrs. Auger, that is not an odd question.  We get asked that all the time.” (She proceeds to tell me as I squirm a little due to the “Mrs.” reference)

“Thank you very much!”

“Mrs. Auger, I wanted to ask you, are you traveling with your husband this vacation?”

“Ummm….No?  I am here with three of my children.”

“Oh! That sounds like fun! Well, next time you are here with your husband, we would love to show you around the resort!” said a little too cheery for my liking at this point.

“Excuse me, but do you know who my husband is?!” said probably a little too dryly.

“No, I don’t!” she said a little too enthusiastically.  I am thinking she was half expecting a movie star or prominent political figure.

“Well, neither do I.  Maybe when I am here next time you could introduce me to him?”

Brief awkward silence.

“Ummm…Mrs….Ms. Auger, you are more than welcome to join the tour with us today if you’d like?”

“No, but thanks.  Have a nice day.”

Click.

I am curious to know the conversation that ensued in the hotel lobby after my phone call.  Poor girl…in their defense…I WAS the only single parent there vacationing with my kids.  All pretty much two parent-two kid families…which is a nice ratio, to be honest, when vacationing.  I just like to keep it interesting.  For me AND the staff.

BBQ Chicken Nachos

BBQ Chicken Nachos

Huge hit with the kids…It was actually 1/3 Buffalo chicken for me…but they polished off their portion and were looking for more BBQ…next all BBQ!

“Dating is like…

“Dating is like trying to make a meal out of leftovers. Some leftovers actually get better when they’ve had a little time to mature. But others should be thrown out right away, No matter how you try to warm them up, they’re never as good as when they were new.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Sugar Daddy

Disclaimer to my parents and to my kids.  I assume you really are not interested or care to hear about your daughter/mother’s dating adventures.  Although, I realize it’s kind of like a train wreck…and we all know we try to look away, but just can’t…but, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I’m single.  I’m forty-something and I’m single. I’m a mother of four, I am forty-something and I am single.  I am a mother of a toddler who is one of four children, I am forty-something and I am single. I work two jobs, I am a mother of a toddler who is one of four children, I am forty-something and I am single. Wanna go on a date?

Now, the funny thing is I have not once sat home on a Saturday night pining for a date. When I am home it is because that’s where I choose to be…and I know a date is only a phone call away.  Or an online message. However, there’s not really a large pool of folks who would gladly take on me and all I have that goes with me…and the limitations that go with being with me.  They exist, but are far and few between.  There is, however, a large pool of guys that would enjoy a night out…or in…and then go back to life as usual. Thanks anyway.  Been there, done that. Check my snap chats and text messages. Those invites are aplenty…or at least until I just wrote that.  I imagine that might slow my text alerts at 10:30pm.

Back to the small pool that would take on the whole package, I then need to do my own weeding out which generally leaves me with a nearly empty swimming hole.  How do I weed them out?  Well that’s basically finding everything wrong with them that might inhibit a long term relationship, or even a short term one.  Red flags we call them.  I feel like a fricking referee in my head throwing all the flags around while on a date,  talking to or emailing these poor souls! Nobody stands a chance.

That’s not to say my red flag throwing is not spot on in most cases. Let’s explore that.

I was with my youngest’s father for about 7 years I guess…but in the middle of that time we had split up for a year and a half.  I found myself truly single for the first time in my adult life and about to date.  I was a thirty-something at the time…three children.  Looking around me and knowing there was no freaking way I was interested in anyone I knew…my online dating adventures began (insert dramatic sigh).

POF, Match.com, eharmony…even christiansingles.  I tried them all and probably still have active profiles on the bulk of them.  I was officially dubbed “One-Date-Wendy” by my peers.  For various reasons, that’s as far as it would go.  I actually got to a second and even a third date with a few…but never a love connection.  Why?  A lot had to do with my well conditioned flag throwing arm, but mostly to do with my ridiculous adventures.  You know, the one with photos from a decade and 75 lbs ago. The one who had three martinis to my one glass of wine and got very upset when I checked my phone…accusing it to be my “escape” to get away from him.  Why yes, sir…it was.  Buh-bye! “Mr. Disney” (yes, I nicknamed them all) who I remain friends with, made it to date two. By second date, I mean making out in the backseat of a compact car in a parking lot at the beach… That mighta worked in high school, buddy.  In his defense, and mine, he lived up to his nickname and moved to Orlando, got a job at Disney and married his princess in front of the castle!

Not all my “one dates” were from online, either.  “Construction Guy” smiled and waved to me everyday on my way to work…finally flagging me down to ask me if I was single.  Yes!  I was!  Super hot, hard hat wearing, tan, muscular armed engineer wanted to meet me for coffee. Day-um.  Too bad I learned during coffee that his wife was not aware of their up and coming divorce!!

I have more stories than I know what to do with.  So, what I have learned?

Chill with the flag throwing.  Mr. Right Now can teach you many lessons, about life and yourself, on the way to Mr. Right.  And who knows…he might even drop the “Now”.

Eating is reall…

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Eating is really one of your indoor sports. You play three times a day, and it’s well worth while to make the game as pleasant as possible.
Dorothy Draper

I was just asked the recipe for my vegetarian chili…you know, the one where my meat eaters hear the word “vegetarian” and turn up there noses. Until they try it!  If you are a vegetarian, this is a great recipe!  If you are a carnivore, this is a great recipe!!  The portabellas give this chili a meatiness and you don’t even miss the beef.  And that even goes for my fungus hating audience!  A little heat and a nice depth of flavor in this one.  Enjoy!

A slight variation of Emeril’s from the food network:

Total Time: 55 min
Prep: 25 min
Cook: 30 min
Yield: 6 to 8 servings
Level:Easy

Ingredients
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 large chopped yellow onion
1 large chopped red bell pepper
2 to 3 cloves minced garlic
2 to 3 serrano peppers, stemmed, seeded, and minced, depending upon taste
1 medium zucchini, stem ends trimmed and cut into small dice
2 cups fresh corn kernels (about 3 ears) – This time of year you can get it in the organic produce
1 1/2 pounds portobello mushrooms (about 5 large), stemmed, wiped clean and cubed
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 tablespooon ground cumin
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
1 large (28oz) can diced tomatoes
1 can (15oz) black beans, rinsed and drained
1 (15-ounce) can tomato sauce
1 cup vegetable, chicken or beef stock
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro leaves

Sour cream or strained plain yogurt, garnish
Diced avocado, garnish
Shredded cheddar, garnish
Chopped green onions, garnish

Directions
In a large, heavy pot, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the onions, bell peppers, garlic, and serrano peppers, and cook, stirring, until soft, about 3 minutes. Add the zucchini, corn, and mushrooms, and cook, stirring, until soft and the vegetables give off their liquid and start to brown around the edges, about 6 minutes. Add the chili powder, cumin, salt and cayenne, and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add the diced tomatoes and stir well. Add the beans, tomato sauce and stock, stir well, and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer, stirring occasionally, for about 20 minutes.

Remove from the heat and stir in the cilantro. Adjust the seasoning, to taste.

To serve ladle the chili into the bowls. Top each serving with a dollop of sour cream and spoonful of avocado. Sprinkle with chees and green onions and serve with warmed tortilla chips.

Best. Tomato. Soup. Ever.

Comfort food at it’s finest!!  The changes I made were that I substituted the saffron with dried basil and I used half and half instead of heavy cream….and I doubled it.  I also used american cheese on the sandwich as it’s what I had on hand…and added a slice of genoa salami.  No need to make as croutons…although you can and it’s a neat idea, but it just gets soggy and it’s an extra step.  

Here’s a picture we took of ours tonight! Enjoy!

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Easy Tomato Soup & Grilled Cheese Croutons

Recipe courtesy of Ina Garten

Recipe from Barefoot Contessa Foolproof: Recipes You Can Trust. Copyright (c) 2012 by Ina Garten. By Arrangement with Clarkson Potter, a division of Random House, Inc. for Food Network Magazine

Easy Tomato Soup & Grilled Cheese Croutons
Total Time: 50 min Prep:10 min Cook: 40 min Yield:4 to 6 servings Level: Easy 

Ingredients:
3 tablespoons good olive oil
3 cups yellow onions, chopped (2 onions)
1 tablespoon minced garlic (3 cloves)
4 cups chicken stock, preferably homemade
1 (28-ounce) can crushed tomatoes, preferably San Marzano
Large pinch of saffron threads
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup orzo
1/2 cup heavy cream
Grilled Cheese Croutons (see below)

Directions
In a large pot or Dutch oven such as Le Creuset, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onions and cook over medium-low heat for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally, until golden brown. Add the garlic and cook for 1 more minute. Stir in the chicken stock, tomatoes, saffron, 1 tablespoon salt and 1 teaspoon pepper. Bring the soup to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, fill a medium pot with water, add 2 teaspoons salt and bring to a boil. Add the orzo and cook for 7 minutes. (It will finish cooking in the soup.) Drain the orzo and add it to the soup. Stir in the cream, return the soup to a simmer and cook for 10 more minutes, stirring frequently.

Serve hot with Grilled Cheese Croutons scattered on top.

Grilled Cheese Croutons

4 (1/2-inch-thick) slices country white bread

2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

4 ounces Gruyere cheese, grated

Heat a panini grill. Place the four slices of bread on a cutting board and brush lightly with the melted butter, being sure to butter the corners. Turn the slices over and pile Gruyere on two of the slices. Place the remaining two slices of bread on top of the Gruyere, buttered sides up.

Grill the sandwiches on the panini grill for about 5 minutes, until nicely browned. Place on a cutting board, allow to rest for 1 minute and cut into 1-inch cubes.