Mildly embarrassed, I call down to the hotel desk operator.  I have sweat on my brow due to running from one bathroom to the next, each on separate floors (while cursing under my breath).  All I want to do is get in the shower so we can check out and start our day of fun around the resort.

“Hello?”

“Hi there, this is an odd question…but how the hell do you turn on the shower??!!  I just can’t figure it out!!”

“Mrs. Auger, that is not an odd question.  We get asked that all the time.” (She proceeds to tell me as I squirm a little due to the “Mrs.” reference)

“Thank you very much!”

“Mrs. Auger, I wanted to ask you, are you traveling with your husband this vacation?”

“Ummm….No?  I am here with three of my children.”

“Oh! That sounds like fun! Well, next time you are here with your husband, we would love to show you around the resort!” said a little too cheery for my liking at this point.

“Excuse me, but do you know who my husband is?!” said probably a little too dryly.

“No, I don’t!” she said a little too enthusiastically.  I am thinking she was half expecting a movie star or prominent political figure.

“Well, neither do I.  Maybe when I am here next time you could introduce me to him?”

Brief awkward silence.

“Ummm…Mrs….Ms. Auger, you are more than welcome to join the tour with us today if you’d like?”

“No, but thanks.  Have a nice day.”

Click.

I am curious to know the conversation that ensued in the hotel lobby after my phone call.  Poor girl…in their defense…I WAS the only single parent there vacationing with my kids.  All pretty much two parent-two kid families…which is a nice ratio, to be honest, when vacationing.  I just like to keep it interesting.  For me AND the staff.