Am I happy? I have been thinking about this…and thinking about blogging about this for a while. After a friend’s gathering yesterday, I was met with this question over and over. Friends genuinely asking if I am okay and if I am happy. My guy, Corey, was also met with threats of bodily harm if he didn’t deliver said happiness to me (poor fellow)! He didn’t ask for this, to fall into the wake of my seemingly endless path of bad choices and/or bad luck. But here we are.
Here’s the deal folks. I have…and always will be…happy. It’s a choice. I have been happy when I was constantly worried that the man I was with was about to go MIA on a drug binge. I was happy escorting my guy into Boston for chemo treatments and endless lab work. I was happy at gatherings and date nights not knowing how the night would play out…even though I knew it might end in some sort of drama, fight…or harm.
I have always chosen happy.
To a fault.
I am in a point in my life that I am choosing happy…period. Not with any other conditions.
I will now not sacrifice one ounce of my happiness or peacefulness to accommodate anyone else’s shortcomings. It’s only been my decisions that has had me on the path that I have walked…and honestly, I would not change a thing. It has made me who I am and has made the family I have. I am currently processing and dealing with the guilt of what my children and I have endured…the loss and the trauma…based on my decisions. We are all, together, healing and moving forward.
But in moving forward, I am just going to be happy. No underlying “except for’s”. In my relationships, in my career…in my life. Just happy and peaceful.
You only get one chance here, folks. Make it, best you can, a good, peaceful and happy ride!!
My answer? Yes, I am happy! Period. Finally!!!
momdotcalm 
WOW….well said Wendy! I have always felt that happiness is a “choice” period, and so glad my nephew has also chosen happiness “YOU”
Never new how much we have in common… that being said recently I got together with some high school friends. One asked how dating was going, left my husband 12 years ago. Had 5 pretty serious relationships since. ( One ending in a tragic accident, one ending in threatening one of my kids of bodily harm) I said I stopped looking, too many weirdos on the dating sites, too many expectations not met. I said and I’m good, I don’t care anymore that I don’t have a significant other. ( I do hope I find someone some day to grow old with) My other friend and you know what? The girls (there are 6 of us that get together every year) just said this past summer that you seem the happiness you have ever been She said I think you had to find happiness with yourself before finding it elsewhere. I agree. I’m okay by myself. I am happy and darn it proud of what I’ve done raising my kids. Thank you Wendy